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by Christopher Lee

May we present what is without question the longest interview in the history of CryptMagazine with the man, the myth, the legend, Dave Wyndorf of rock n' roll atomic supermen Monster Magnet! Some of you may have forgot about Monster Magnet, cause you are worshiping false idols when you should be bowing to rock n' roll gods! So let Dave take you on a journey where we discuss everything from the current state of the planet, to the history of Monster Magnet, and the release of the upcoming record "Last Patrol"! Make yourself comfortable and strap yourself in, IT'S A LONG ONE!

Crypt: Hey Dave, its great to talk to you! It's 2013, and the new Monster Magnet album "Last Patrol" will be hitting the racks in a couple of weeks, where have you guys been the past couple of years?

Dave Wyndorf: In the three years we did "Mastermind", toured the FUCK out of Europe and the world, just completely going on! Um, so we had one record and ALLOT of touring, I toured that new record, PLUS did a bunch of tours doing "whole album performances" of early albums like "Spine Of God", "Dopes To Infinity", and that's how I spend my time, ya know, on the road! Not in America allot, but the rest of the world, that's what I do!

Crypt: So is it really true this tour coming up in November is your first extensive US tour in 10 years, I just always thought you guys were avoiding places like Florida, little did I know!?

Dave Wyndorf: Yeah! 10 years man! I really can't believe it! Were used to touring all the time, the states dried up for us, I mean, I wasn't into it! I know the states now, I mean in my opinion, the states kinda crossed a cultural line when they kind of like, left their pride in the dust as far as music and stuff is concerned. Most people going inside, and all the smart people were inside blogging, they weren't going out, ya know, they thought they could like reinvent the world through the internet and found out their full of shit, they can't do anything to the internet, you gotta physically represent! So, yeah, you know, what are ya gonna do? But things are starting to turn around I think, people are getting better, a better angle on uh, what to do with the tech, what to do with their gear, and there's allot of good music coming from all around, and it's starting to hit again! So its cool!

Crypt: Well, we live in a world where even rock fans pretend to be so hardcore on the internet, but in all reality, they have very, very short attention spans, just like everyone else!

Dave Wyndorf: Especially in the states, I mean, we are TRAINED to have short attention spans!

Crypt: Well how the fuck could anyone forget Monster Magnet, you guys were always ahead of the pack, ahead of the whole "stoner rock" thing that people always say you pioneered, just an honest no frills rock n' roll band! I don't even smoke dope, but if there was one band I could see myself getting high to and rockin' out, it would  be you guys! You just have those "grooves"!

Dave Wyndorf: Very cool, well thanks dude, I mean all I ever tried to do is put all my favorite shit I had when I was a kid in one bag, ya know? Music is so much fun and I just look at music as, uh, something that feeds me my whole life! I was a huge fan when I was a little kid, and I'm STILL a huge fan, and uh, ya know put all your favorite stuff in one bag and try to make it, ya know, try to own it a little bit, it's worked so far! It's worked really good!

Crypt: So what bands had the biggest influence on you growing up, and what bands nowadays do you enjoy?

Dave Wyndorf: Eh, there's allot of shit coming out there, but when I was a kid, I think the band that hit me the hardest, was, like three bands...Sabbath, The Stooges, and HawkWind! Those albums like, completely freaked me out and then, they made me love "albums", ya know, whole albums, like "wow, this is a place to go in your head", ya know, you go into the album and you disappear! And then, but the one band that got me wanting to play was RAMONES! Cause I saw RAMONES when I was about 17, 18...

Crypt: Amazing. Was that when you started the band Shell Shock?

Dave Wyndorf: No, no, you mean Shrapnel!

Crypt: My mistake, it was on the tip of my tongue, it's early here!

Dave Wyndorf: Shell Shock, lol, wow that's great! Shell Shock is better!

Crypt: So you were in a band with Daniel Rey early on which is pretty crazy considering all he did for RAMONES later on in their career, I found that out from reading the Steven Blush book "American Hardcore", I had no idea! You did some great interviews with Seconds Magazine back in the day!

Dave Wyndorf: Wow, Steve Blush, that's a name I haven't heard in a long time, I gotta see how he's doing!

Crypt: So what do you think about this whole thing with people being pacified with buying one single on Itunes and the whole art of the "album" being reduced to nothing, an artists life's work to write that one song has been condensed into a little meaningless mp3, it's just stuff!

Dave Wyndorf: It's brutal dude, it's brutal, but what are you gonna do? It's like "the people have spoken", and ultimately, ultimately their the people that make the decision, it's like, there's no conspiracy behind it, there's nothing, it's like we just have to face the fact that we live in a world full of idiots!

Crypt: Exactly...

Dave Wyndorf: Know what I mean? And so, the people who aren't idiots just have to just reach across the table and shake hands and watch it while we make a deal like "ya know something, if I ever suck again like that, SMACK ME IN THE FACE, OK!?" Uh, I miss the album as an art form, I really, really miss it, it's kind of gone back to like the 1950's style now with the one song, ya know, you get the one song, which is cool I mean ya know, it...but it doesn't encourage artists to write ALBUMS, like if they can't see any money behind it, it doesn't encourage new bands to write whole albums, so you see these bands, and they're writing a couple of good songs and then their managers and record company "yeah, yeah just put a bunch of other stuff on it, it's cool". So, is that art gonna be gone in the commercial marketplace it looks like it's gone, but in the non-commercial marketplace maybe it's opening up a whole 'nother thing, ya know?

Crypt: Yeah

Dave Wyndorf: There'll be people, ya know, their will be people that will fucking do it, for, I mean certainly we have the tech do it, I mean the technology's there for people to make records in their houses, do all this, I mean once, I think once the world gets over this notion they have to have EVERYTHING, um, they'll start to realize, well ya know, it's worth your attention to uh, focus on a few good things rather than 100 bad things! I mean somebody told me once it was a great thing "well, in the old days, there was a hundred bands with a million fans each, now there's a million bands with a hundred fans each"!

Crypt: I prefer the first way, you know, thanks to Myspace, any amateur band who isn't even complete or ready to play out could throw some garage 4 track recording online all of a sudden is competing with Monster Magnet for attention, thinking "dude my band is as popular as yours"!

Dave Wyndorf: I know! But ya know I can't blame them for doing it!

Crypt: I can!

Dave Wyndorf: WELL YEAH I GUESS I CAN! But yeah if I met 'em I would go like "get the fuck out of Myspace"!

Crypt: LOL!

Dave Wyndorf: You're hogging it up, in the old days you wouldn't be able to be invited into the world sucking that bad, you're just not allowed to, you can't just come in here and act like this, ya know, ya gotta walk it, at least a little bit like you talk it! Now, it's like "the democracy of the internet" allows everyone to stand up like "look at me, der" and ya know, whatever, you want to do it, the space is there fine, but I don't appreciate the static that it creates, ya know, this sea of shit, it's hard for to people to look through this sea of shit!

Crypt: I agree, I just think people's expectations have been so watered down, their level of what makes something "quality" is so low... Everything's been dumbed down...

Dave Wyndorf: Totally agree! The definition, the definitions have changed, like the media, the definition of "quality", how many times have you heard the word "cutting edge"? It's like it doesn't mean anything anymore, its like "what are you talking about"!? Everybody gets three stars, if your an athlete you get three stars, it's like "where are all the people who worked it", ya know, it's really weird! The quality has totally, standards have DROPPED, I think the standards have dropped because most people who own businesses realize if they were to keep at a high standard with everything it would take so long to produce the kind of crap they are trying to sell to people just to make a profit! Ya know what I mean? It's better to have lower standards, you can make more stuff!

Crypt: LOL! Maybe you should start your own Fast Food Chain, I think you would be VERY successful!

Dave Wyndorf: Uh, I would do VERY well! It's fat and soft and sugar! I GOT IT!

Crypt: What is the one question you are tired of being asked?

Dave Wyndorf: That one! The one you just said? No, I don't think about it, it's fine, any questions are cool!

Crypt: What can we expect on this tour, Monster Magnet has allot of classic records full of GREAT songs, I would hope you guys would go through the whole catalogue and do a little bit from every record, everything from "Dopes To Infinity" to "Look To The Orb For Your Warning"...

Dave Wyndorf: Oh yeah! Oh yeah!

Crypt: Nice!

Dave Wyndorf: It will be very centered on the first, like, 4 records, Uh, which is I guess what people find more classic or whatever, um, yeah, from the beginning all the way up to "PowerTrip", not allot after that, maybe a couple and then a couple ones from the new one, and then wrap it all up into something that is hopefully satisfying! When you have allot of albums it's hard to satisfy everybody, but I just gotta like, play it by intuition, I think I'll do a good job!

Crypt: Will you be playing "See You In Hell"?

Dave Wyndorf: THAT'S a good question!

Crypt: Did you guys ever do that live?

Dave Wyndorf: Yeah, we did the whole album, and weird songs, that's a good idea! I'll keep that in mind!
Crypt: And I hope you will find the room to fit "God Says No" somewhere in there as well, probably my favorite Monster Magnet track, its different, but man, the way you sing it, the lyrics, the guitar melody, just brilliant!

Dave Wyndorf: Thanks dude, I appreciate that!

Crypt: I know most "fans" hate experimentation, I don't what most fans think of it, but...

Dave Wyndorf: People always say yeah they dig "new bands" but then if you change too much they say fuck it and they'll leave you like a hot potato!

Crypt: So the writing process for the new record, I know in the past, as is the case with the PowerTrip record, you said you wrote that entire record just sitting on your front porch strumming an acoustic, is it still the same process for you?

Dave Wyndorf: YEP! It all starts with an acoustic! And I just bring it, start with an acoustic, and I go right to a little 8 track recorder, a 4 track, and make up a little demo myself, and Bob goes and adds the drums, do a bass track, guitars, vocals, and it's a weird little version, and then I bring that version to the band nd go "Ok, this is what we're gonna do"!

Crypt: Wow, so you still write everything after all these years, that's pretty crazy!

Dave Wyndorf: Yeah, yeah, its fun, I mean, writing songs, that's my thing, making music that's what I do, that's the only thing I can do, cause everything else I suck at! Ya know?

Crypt: What are you most proud of as far as Monster Magnet's accomplishments?
Dave Wyndorf: Um, sometimes I think it's just survival, I didn't even notice so long, it's like 25 years in the same band, that's pretty fucking amazing, so, I'm proud of that, and I am also proud of the fact, it makes me feel good that I didn't how to do this stuff when I started, I barely could play guitar and I certainly couldn't produce a record, and then just by sheer like, bullshit and enthusiasm, made my way into being the guy who can do that, and that really makes me feel good, because ya know, like most kids, you don't know how to do anything, and if I knew how to do something I would have been in college, I wouldn't have been doing this so, i'm kind of self taught, with allot of good advice from allot of people, but that's what I'm proud of!

Crypt: Unlike a lot of bands and artists, who live on twitte, Facebook, etc, with all these social media platforms that demystify the artist, like I don't care about what Joe Perry had for lunch for example, how do you manage to keep such a low profile!?

Dave Wyndorf: I think it's just cause I'm lazy, ya know what I mean, it's like wow, I've gotta do all this stuff too? It's like wow, you know most of the time, I can't imagine all day posting shit on again and on, I like to disappear, it's fun, like a normal person, you do your job and then you want to like, kick back with a comic book or something where it's just, get lost and chase girls around, uh, you do what human beings do, this whole new thing of constantly staying on it, um, that kind of freaked me out, ya know like social media kind of freaked me out too, cause its just too much information, I couldn't imagine being interesting enough to constantly do it, and I check it all out, I Twitter search and sure enough I'm right! Nobody's that interesting! Do you know what I mean? It's like, the only interesting thing that happens on Twitter is when they bomb Osama Bin Laden, ya know, I mean every once in a while it's like wow, someone got the headlines! But ya know, it's rough, but I may have to go into that world just for this record! Open a Twitter account and just promote the record and maybe every tweet I'll do is just "BUY MY RECORD" need I remind you again, "BUY MY RECORD"! But yeah, it's uncomfortable to think about being on all the time, I can't understand what's going on in the world, everybody thinks their that interesting? They're fooling themselves cause they ain't!!!!

Crypt: Exactly!

Dave Wyndorf: You know, you can tell, your just like "oh, jesus"!

Crypt: Like incredibly unattractive people taking "selfies" all day on Facebook to get validation from their 10 friends who are never going to tell them the truth, going on Twitter talk about their uneventful life... Just fucking stop, please! No one cares!

Dave Wyndorf: Ya know something man, it really does make sense, the whole 20th century, well since electricity, we've taught everybody at printing presses to do magazine stuff, since modern media, we've taught, the media has taught us to pay more attention to the person that's on the screen, on the cover of the magazine, ya know, whether it be movie screens or TV screens, we're taught gently and more than gently for like 100 years of it, so when the tech affords us to do the same thing, of course, we all do it, and so now this is humanity's turn to be like "I'm the guy", ya know "now it's my turn, I'm on TV", and of course it's not real TV and you and I know it's bullshit, but they don't know, they're just having this massive identity crisis like "look at me, i'm here, i'm fat and i'm fuckin' taking my clothes off, do you love me"? NO! No we don't, no one really loves you, and 15 years from now, 20 years from now, they will have to look back and go "remember that time when the world went crazy and everybody thought they were really interesting? They will, and then we'll go back to using Facebook and all this stuff for what it's really necessary for, which is like sharing it with your family, and getting shit done! You make your own art, ya know it's important to make something that's worth looking at, that's what I think allot of people don't get, they think they are automatically worth looking at cause they are who they are, since when? What fucking world did you grow up in?

Crypt: LOLLLLLLLLLLLL! You are totally right!

Dave Wyndorf: Could you imagine you or I as kids went out and go look this is my, we went to school, 16 years old like "I made a magazine about me, it's called Facebook", they would kick your ass! I would have got my ass kicked in high school! JERKOFF!

Dave Wyndorf: It's so funny!

Crypt: It's sad!

Dave Wyndorf: Yeah it's kind of sad!

Crypt: It just shows you that the whole world is headed for a cultural demise...

Dave Wyndorf: Either a demise, or maybe a crash and then a re-awakening, you know what I mean? Because we're not stupid, we're still human beings right, and we have our bad habits and good habits, but there's gonna be a point where there's gonna be, it may be people my age, people your age, probably allot younger that go "you know something, i've had enough of shit for breakfast, I just can't eat shit all the time, it's like intellectual junk food, I mean it's good, it's fun, but you can't live on it! Somebody's gonna wake up and go "ENOUGH"! And they are gonna turn their back on this stuff and just start their own thing! And we're all gonna sit back and go "oh, finally! I wish I would have thought of that"! I have hopes, I have hope, but right now? NO HOPE! FUCK 'EM ALL!

Crypt: HA HA HA, You are killing me!

Crypt: Ok, last question, who do you think is the most overrated rock band in the world!? U2?

Dave Wyndorf: Ha Ha, actually I like a couple of U2 songs!

Crypt: Well they were great a long time ago...

Dave Wyndorf? Um, "the worst rock band in the world"!? AVENGED SEVENFOLD!

Crypt: Wow, HA HA!

Dave Wyndorf: No, I shouldn't say that...

Crypt: No, it's a free country, you have a right to say what you think, and you are a rock veteran...

Dave Wyndorf: But I already dissed 'em in like 2 other interviews, cause people were asking me "well, what's this your talking about, are we talking about like "glam metal" or whatever you would call it, uh, just "pop metal"? MASS MARKET METAL! And they were like "what are you talking about"? And I said, "ya know, like that band Avenged Sevenfold"! And they're like "really, you hate them?" and I'm like I don't really know 'em , I just heard them a couple of times and I look at their stupid picture in magazines! Hey your 15 years old, I totally get it, but are you gonna tell me, there are grown men going to their concerts, there's some serious fucking problems in the world!

Crypt: No, it's allot of young girls! But I have seen them a few times! HA HA HA!

Dave Wyndorf: No, I don't want to say they are the worst band, I take it back!
Crypt: Ah, you just wish the young girls were coming to see your band man! HA HA!

Dave Wyndorf: I do!


Dave Wyndforf: With makeup laying on my old face, I'd probably would have done it too, ya know I had opportuities to wear makeup before, I always turned it down.

Crypt: You are a very manly guy, I can't see you wearing makeup!

Dave Wyndorf! Ah, it just doesn't look good on me!

Crypt: Not with the "stache", you would look like King Diamond's brother! HA HA HA!

Dave Wyndorf: Oh yeah, like King Diamond, or those old hippie guys, like when they used to paint their face up, but they still had facial hair, it's really disturbing!

Crypt: Yeah, like Wizzard!?

Dave Wyndorf: YEAH LIKE WIZZARD, Roy Wood, like "The Roy Wood Look"!

Crypt: Well thanks for your time Dave, you are hilarious, any last words for the Crypt Magazine readers?

Dave Wyndorf: Um, just say, uh I don't know, "fuck off", no "fuck all of you"! Uh, "pick your priorities, get your priorities straight, FOCUS YOUR PSYCHOSIS"!

Crypt: LOL!

Prove Dave Wyndorf wrong, that you don't have a short attention span by picking up the new brand new Monster Magnet record "Last Patrol" in stores on October 15th! And be sure to see the band LIVE in November when they come to your corner of the universe! For tour dates and more info go to:

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